wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
