Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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