I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I met the friendliest cop last night
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
