if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
this is an emotional support booty call
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm like, not good at living.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
