you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is Oprah even human
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
