i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
