I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize