his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
