He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
