I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
