i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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