Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize