This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
