woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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