Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
