ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We need to get me chipped asap
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
