im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
