You're a womanizer and a bitch.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
