no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
