More tranny stories later!
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
