it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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