Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
