Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
