belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
