Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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