Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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