I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
