Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you traded sex for a burrito?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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