shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
