dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
