nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
