shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize