Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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