Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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