you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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