Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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