I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
