The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
