Need sex. Gaining weight.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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