I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
