Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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