well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
