I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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