I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
