what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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