I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
