Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
