called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
