grandma shit on top of the toilet
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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