careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
