Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
