they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize
