i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
