my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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