if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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