her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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