i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize