so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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