now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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